fear

every so often a fear of abandonment overcomes
in an instant all close connections are lost
yet time continues to go forth, whilst i freeze in the moment

what will happen?
where will i go?
where am i?

then this small hand packed snowball rolls down a hill
and picks up more and more, quicker, bigger,
breath shortens, heartbeat quickens
fists clench, stomach churn
eyes shut

..

an exhale of withheld anguish escapes as i walk towards a dimly lit hallway
guided by a ring and another ring from my doorbell.
carefully revealing familiar faces and security
sounds of relief from a day's work
and relief as fear scurries away today.