grasp

grasp

i need to talk hold of this heart, mind

that is running all over the place

in hopes

trying

to get something

but i don't know what.

some understanding?

some empathy?

some love?

but what is understanding when we each have our own experiences
what we hear then understand becomes relative to what we've felt before
do you understand?

not only to be heard, but to be felt in sharing the same experience.
'i feel you' is that what is being searched for?
i have been told to have such character. i guess that is good?
but really, to be sentient. all the while, to reason.
what do you expect of us, can you not have a little empathy?

oh the beautiful idea of love. and it's so lovely of an idea that it stops there.
what about the path that comes after, the responsibilities, the interdependence, the mindfulness.
if one cannot take care of themselves, how can they partake in the life of another
do you have what it takes to love?

i guess the lack of speaking comes with the unwanted feeling of pity, sympathy, to be dealt with fragility, or others to 'be careful' around me.
because it has never been so..or it has always been the case?
whatever the fact, maybe i just need a slap-in-the-face, punch-in-the-gut, stab-in-the-foot sort of accountability.
can i take it? with this prideful unaware stubborn mind.