..

It's okay
Not talking, it's fine.
i think it's past
Times       are gone..?

When you asked, i didn't want to say anything
i didn't know what to speak of
the jealousy that is in me?
the brokenness i hide?
the self-destructiveness that haunts?
the hurt by some actions?
the loneliness behind the smiles?
the tears within the laughs?
the pathetic hopes in the jokes?
the pressure given by expectations?
the character i am struggling to uphold?
the longing for time to pass slowly?
the reminders of worthlessness?
the thoughts to disappear?
the weakness to not bring myself to do it?

i can't say it. i needed to let go. so i choose a way in which i couldn't control, unedifying.
and it hurts. You. and i. and you.
the empty sentiments
the look that night
the words you spoke
i'm sorry. but it's okay. i understand.
each person has our own struggle. so it's okay if things are not said, they don't have to be.
i can't bring myself to.

And now that you moved on, it's okay, it's too late
That always seems to be how it is
i can't get out of this cycle
the suffocating fear of being vulnerable.
it is not me.. to say.

Maybe it's not time for me to, i shouldn't, and i can't seem to bring myself to.

Why?