...

so i just bought two tickets to new york...sort of on a whim
well, i hope everything works out.

something

there is something not quite right when every time i think back, there is something
something that hurts
a tone
a glance
a sigh
a distance

and that makes me think                   why?

i guess this is why my heart will not tell me to go

or even if it is, i am hesitant to listen.

can you do me a favour?

the rush, the past week was difficult and tiring.
what's funny was that i was thirsty, but all the water i drank was not retained, didn't help. it was all coming out, as i try to drink as much as possible, but as much is thrown away.

but He knew why, because He knows me, and sees me

under the shield
behind the smiles
through the laughs

He reaches out and offers me water that can quench my thirst forever, living water
not so that it is only needed once, but that it is a constant stream, flowing through me
and that once i am given this living water, it is the only thing i look to, depend on.

but it's hard.

the repetition, the discomfort, the impatience

i

so many..

to find rest in You alone, to be filled with joy when things are good, to lift it all back to You
not let pride, envy seep through
but Your grace, love, mercy shine bright
not 'I'

but it was difficult to not let it cut
through the smiles, through the laughter
your words pierce
'finally'

from....

Here in Your Presence

Your grace, it is to me....

Found in Your hands, fullness of joy

Every fear suddenly wiped away

here in Your presence

All of my gains now fade away

Every crown no longer on display

here in Your presence

Heaven in trembling in awe of Your wonders

the kings and their kingdom are standing amazed

Here in Your presence, we are undone

Here in Your presence, Heaven and Earth become one

Here in Your presence, all things are new

Here in Your presence, everything bows before You

Wonderful

Beautiful

Matchless in every way

Jar of hearts

Swallow it
Swallow it
Swallow it
Is what I tell myself
Stopit. Bottle it. Hold it.
Is what needs to be done
The lump in my throat, the welling tears, the ice in my chest. 

okay

It's okay to venture.
It's okay to see the many things that can tingle one's senses.
It's okay to wander to paths unknown or known.
It's okay to walk against the current of people.
It's okay to find amusing things and enjoy the wonders of individuality.
It's okay to be alone.

nuit blanche.2012.