no.
How can that be easily said?
Give me time.
Leave me alone.
I need time..alone.
Silence.
It's hard. When it's said, it hurts.
Understandable. but it hurts.
And I've been hurt. And now it's my turn.
But it's not supposed to be that way.
LOVE UNCONDITIONALLY
but it's hard.
no, I heavily dislike the word 'hate'
and i do not 'hate' you
but rather, you're a sister whom I dearly love.
I dearly care about
- though many a time, we've spoken about this, and I guess I've just been doing it wrong, because you don't know -
and because of that love, I was vulnerable, still, open
to all the things known, but unsaid
to all the daggers of words, of cut calls, of ignoring, of harsh words and attitudes, of brushing things off.
I take it in.
and maybe that's why I unknowingly project this.
my way of self-protection,
to create a distance,
- because you seem to work that way
and because of the way I work does not seem to be understandable
I figure you must understand this way
so maybe you'll finally get me -
to prevent this from happening..again.
things are well, was well, but I don't know why
and suddenly, i feel like a puppet, going ways to wherever the string pulls, without knowing
and I'm afraid
afraid of being thrown away
brushed off
back to one
when things pick up
but I should not feel this way, as everything is for something, and this is for growth.
but it's happening, and the elastic is stretched, near it's capacity
I don't want to,
I really don't.
I am bitter
As bitter as these words that are coming out of my mouth
but bitter, I cannot be.
Because if bitter is in me, no joy, or love, or trust can be in me
and there will be no room for Him, my Creator.
And that hurts. a lot.
